Lie #2 Your biological parents did not love you.

Hey everyone,
So lie number 2 is "your biological parents did not/do not love you." Well this lie is completely a LIE!! For this lie I am going to tell you "my story" as to how my adoption went about... (once again I ask you to please not give me a pity party!!) Okay so here it goes....

Let me first give you some background information. Close to the year I was born there were about 533,100 abortions in Mexico. Also my birth mom worked as a live in house maid, the Mexican culture toward live in house maids isn't the best. The man of the house thinks he can do whatever he wants to the house maids. Now to the "story" of me being adopted.

Now my birth mom had two other kids that her parents were raising. Once she got pregnant with me her parents told her that if she kept me and wanted them to raise me that she would never see her kids again. She believed them, so she started to think about other options like abortion. She talked about aborting me to some missionaries who were down there, but thankfully they talked her out of it!! So she decided she would give me up for adoption. Now keep in mind this is a extremely hard thing to do, think about it can you imagine giving a child life and then giving that child away?! Knowing you might never ever see your child again?! In any case my mom's mom heard that I was up for adoption, she told my mom and they started that long process. As you know I am adopted so everything fell through on the adoption. (if you want the whole story on t hat side just ask and I'll post it up or write a comment on it.)

In any case my birth mom loved me to the point of giving me life knowing she'd probably never see her little girl ever again! She could have taken the "easy" way out of it and aborting me, she wouldn't had to gone through everything to put me up for adoption. The way I know she loved me even though I have never met her is that she did the hardest thing for a mother to do, she gave up her own flesh and blood. There is no doubt in my mind that she was sad that she had to give me up, but she loved me so she knew she had to give me up. She knew if she gave me up I'd have a better life, or at least better than what she could have given me.

A lot of times people think if you birth parents gave you up it means you were a "mistake," and that they didn't love you. Well this isn't true, they loved you so much that they knew they couldn't give you a good life, that they couldn't take care of you like you needed, and because they love you so much they did the hardest thing imaginable! I feel very loved that my birth mom loved me so much she gave me away. I am amazed at how strong, loving, caring woman that she was to give me away. I can't imagine doing what she did just for me. To sum up how I feel about my birth mom, here is a poem I wrote to her and a link to the tribute speech I did on her.

To My Mother
by Sandra Cash

Thank you so much mother!
For you gave me the greatest gift a mother can give.
You gave me life,
even when you could have chosen not too.
Not only did you give me life,
but you also gave me to a family.
I know it must have been the hardest thing for you.
To give up your little baby girl,
and to know you might never see her again.
I want you to know the family you gave me to
has raised me the best that they can.
They have give me the best they can give,
which in reality is a lot.

I want to thank you mother.
For loving me so much that you gave me up for adoption.
If you ever questioned if you did the right thing.
Let me tell you that you did the perfect thing for me.

Where ever you are dear mother.
I want you to know
You will always have a special place in my heart for you.
I love you and I'm thankful for everything you have done for me.
I will never forget all the sacrifices you have made just for me.
You made those sacrifices because you love me and for that I say
Thank you mother for everything! I love you!

Now for the rest of you adoptees the same goes for you, think on it...imagine your mom have a little baby growing inside of her. She watch as you the baby grows, she love you, after all your her baby....but she know she will not be able to keep you, the baby you love. She know she can't give you the best life....so she bring herself to the hardest thing possible. She put you up for adoption because she know they will have a better life than the one she could give you. Now that's love!! If you'd like to explain why you do or don't feel loved please feel free to comment!! Comment even if you just agree with me, or whatever. This blog is to help you adoptees connect with other adoptess, we want your opinions your thoughts on these matters!! I hope this has helped you realize that your birth parents love you!!
~Sandy